Buzzing Questions
by O'chibi-brat
Summary: A story in which Light has homicidal tendancies, L is an oblivious genius, Matsuda is a blathering idiot, and Ryuk gets entertained, all because of one persistent fly. Warning: Bleeps and boys love! One-sided LightxL


A/N: I am technically supposed to be working right now, but my boss has nothing for me to do and encourages me to keep my creative juices flowing, so I decided to once again tackle the task of putting yet another silly idea into a story.

Actually, this was inspired by something that just happened to me. Save for the romance (I could never be so lucky), it's exactly what happened to me. I'm glad I have the office to myself. I wonder if I have homicidal tendencies as well…?

So! I do not own Death Note. Ohba and Obata do. I do, however, own a death note and a pretty pink shinigami that goes by the name of Cuppycakegumdropsniklebysnookums Sweetypieappleofmyeye, called Bob for short. Yeah, you don't want to get on my bad side…I also, of course, do not own the Cuppycake song.

* * *

_**Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz**_

_Ignore it. Just ignore it and it'll go away._

_**Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz**_

_Don't go crazy. You DON'T want to give L any more excuses to raise the percentage that you're Kira._

_**BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

"SHIT!"

The entire taskforce looked up in shock to see Light, ever-so-calm and polite Light Yagami, jump out of his seat, screaming and cursing like a sailor in a brawl. As to what exactly it was he was screaming, I feel it best to leave out. Children's eyes, and all that.

"L-Light, what's the matter?" Soichiro Yagami asked, wide eyed at his son's expletives.

"That *bleep*-ing fly won't leave me the *bleep* alone!" The Yagami boy's arms flailed about wildly, as if they could perhaps ward the offending fly away. "Why the *bleep* doesn't it fly over someone else's *bleep*-ing desk any *bleep*-ing way?! I'm *bleep*-ing tired of it! It's driving me *bleep*-ing crazy!"

"Violent reactions upon being put under pressure, along with a most exceptionally capable potty mouth," L mumbled quietly to himself. "54% chance Light-kun has homicidal tendencies."

"I'll show you homicidal tendencies!"

"H-hey, Light?" Matsuda spoke up.

"WHAT?!"

"I think your shouting chased the fly away. Can we get back to work now?" Everyone stared at him. "What?"

Mogi spoke up. "Since when did you care so much about work ethics?"

"Yeah," Aizawa agreed. "You don't even do any real paperwork!"

Matsuda blushed. "Sh-shut up!"

Sighing, L swiveled around in his chair to face the hectic scene. "If we are quite done fooling around, I would very much appreciate it if everyone could calm down and return to work. Villains don't catch themselves." Matsuda opened his mouth. "No Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde references, if you please." Slightly awed, his mouth closed. "Thank you very much." With that, L turned back, facing his computer with renewed vigor-at least, as much vigor as can be visibly seen on someone such as L.

As predicted, everyone else went back to what they were doing before Light's outburst. It was very quiet, save for the buzzing creature that apparently decided to take permanent residence at Light's desk.

* * *

/5 minutes later/

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Light vaguely wondered if the ticking at his temple would become a permanent resident as well. He briefly considered whether or not he could charge rent before he realized just how ridiculous that sounded. He shook his head to attempt to straighten his mental train of thought to something less odd.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Perhaps he could actually rent his brain out so he wouldn't have to think. Not about work, not about family, not about killing random criminals in a bout of self-proclaimed justice, and not about that god-forsaken noise grating in his poor, abused ear. Yeah, it'd be nice to take a mental vacation for a while.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Light pondered the cost of room and board in a mental institution. He never understood how they could be unaccommodating to other people. A room with padded walls seemed quite comfortable to him.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Light grabbed the closest thing, a bottle of hand sanitizer, and proceeded to smash it in random places all over his ridiculously over-organized desk. The fly finally took a hint and attempted to escape.

Oh, no, you don't, you fiend! Light was beyond irrational now. He threw the hand sanitizer at the fly. Unsatisfied, he proceeded to grab and throw random papers, pens, duct tape, coffee cups, scissors (yikes!), his computer chair, and L's last bit of cake, ignoring the incredulous looks of his fellow task force and the fact that he was throwing all of these things in the general direction of one frightened Matsuda.

Pouting at his loss of cake, L made a mental note to raise Light's percentage to 61% and stood up. Judging by the fish mouths his underlings - um! - co-workers were wearing, it was up to him to restore any semblance of order.

He walked over to Light as Light, with a strength previously unknown to man, proceeded to lift his entire desk above his head, glaring intensely towards a scared sh-uh…highly terrified Matsuda, who happened to have the dreaded fly buzzing around his head.

A series of happenings occurred in the next couple of seconds. Light, a moment before he managed to throw the 80lb+ object, managed to slip on the very same piece of cake he threw earlier. L, always one to think on his feet, quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him into an unprecedented embrace to stop the fall. Matsuda finally moved out of the line of fire, crying to Aizawa, Aizawa pretended to be listening to his partner's whining, but was really thinking about tacos, Mogi attempted to look busy, but was actually playing Solitare on his computer, Soichiro Yagami decided he really didn't want to be involved and began going through the same files they'd already been through a hundred million times, Watari was in an entirely different place, buying his ward more sweets at the local bakery, and Ryuk, currently rolling on the ceiling, invisible to the naked eye, commented once again to nobody that humans were just too much fun. But, who cares? The point is, L was hugging Light, and no one was paying any attention, whatsoever.

Light looked upon his savior's face, noticing once again how his ebony eyes seemed to shine like stars, holding all of the world's secrets in their cool depths. His heart raced as he noticed his beloved's arms securely wrapped around him, as if to protect him from any threat that might come. Feeling L's breath upon his cheek, Light had to suppress a shudder of delight. He leaned in closer, virtually putting all his weight on L's chest.

L, needless to say, was a bit startled. "Is Light-kun alright?"

"Yes," Light replied, sighing happily.

…that was a bit unexpected. "Okay…Is Light-kun capable of standing on his own?"

"Yes," Light replied once again, leaning further still.

"…Does Light-kun realize he is stepping on my feet?"

"Yes." 'Light-kun' didn't seem to be listening too well at the moment.

"Could Light-kun-" Seeing Light's glazed expression, L shook him a little. "Could Light-kun perhaps be so kind as to let go of my shirt so that I may return to work?"

"Oh." Light seemed to suddenly realize their awkward position if the slight panic in his eyes were any clue. Wait, was that…disappointment? "Right. Sorry." He released the shirt he had unconsciously clung to.

"Thank you." L and Light then moved to return to their seats, but, having a sudden epiphany, L stopped.

"Oh, and Light-kun?"

Light turned around quickly. "Yeah?"

L blinked at Light's hopeful tone. "68%"

L turned back to his desk before he could see Light face-plant himself to the floor.

* * *

A/N: So! Do you think I should make a sequel to this? Maybe give Light a happy ending for once? Or perhaps an even unhappier one?

You know, I really do think L makes up those percentages when it suits him. He was nearly 100% certain Light was Kira from the start, but told everyone it was less than 1% to begin with. So, basically, I threw the 68% in there just because.

I hope you enjoyed the sheer tackiness of this. If you did, please review. Heck, if you didn't, please review! I ain't picky!

So…

Review!!!!!!!!!


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